Should you sit on cemetery benches? - Justhighstone

Author: May

Jul. 15, 2024

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Should you sit on cemetery benches? - Justhighstone

Graveside benches, also known as granite memorial benches or headstone benches, often stand as silent sentinels amidst the somber beauty of cemeteries. These sturdy fixtures serve as more than mere adornments; they offer visitors a place for reflection, solace, and remembrance. However, the question of whether one should actually sit on these benches remains a topic of debate among cemetery-goers and etiquette enthusiasts alike.

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Granite benches are a common sight in cemeteries, blending seamlessly with the solemn atmosphere. Crafted from durable granite, they are designed to withstand the test of time, serving as enduring tributes to the departed. Yet, despite their inviting appearance, some individuals hesitate to take a seat out of respect for the deceased and their families.

For many, the decision to sit on a cemetery bench hinges on a delicate balance of reverence and personal comfort. While some see it as a gesture of respect to refrain from using the bench as a casual resting spot, others view it as a practical amenity intended for visitors to find solace and contemplation amidst the tranquil setting of the graveyard.

Proponents of sitting on headstone benches argue that these fixtures are meant to be utilized for their intended purpose. They believe that enjoying a quiet moment of reflection on a cemetery bench can be a meaningful way to connect with the memories of loved ones and pay homage to the lives they lived. Moreover, they emphasize that the presence of benches in cemeteries implies an invitation for visitors to pause and reflect, rather than merely passing through.

On the other hand, opponents of sitting on graveside benches express concerns about the potential for disrespect or disruption to the solemn atmosphere of the cemetery. They worry that treating cemetery benches as casual seating detracts from the sacredness of the space and may cause discomfort to other visitors or the families of those interred nearby.

Navigating the etiquette of granite memorial benches requires sensitivity and awareness of the individual preferences of both visitors and the families of the deceased. Some cemeteries may have specific guidelines regarding the use of benches, while others leave the decision to visitors&#; discretion. In cases where families have placed benches as a personal memorial, it&#;s advisable to err on the side of caution and refrain from using them unless explicitly invited to do so.

Ultimately, the decision to sit on a headstone bench is a deeply personal one, guided by individual beliefs, cultural norms, and a profound sense of reverence for the deceased. While some may find solace in taking a moment to rest and reflect, others may prefer to pay their respects from a standing position. Whatever one&#;s choice may be, the most important consideration is to approach cemetery benches with mindfulness and respect for the sacredness of the space they occupy.

How to Have a Remembrance Bench in a Public Area

There are many people who love the idea of placing a remembrance bench, but when someone has passed away it is a difficult project to tackle and many people don&#;t know how to get permission to place one in the first place. This blog explains the steps you may need to take.

Rules and Regulations of Placing a Remembrance Bench

Remembrance benches are a gentle way of remembering someone who has passed. Many relatives and friends like the idea of the bench being in the person&#;s favourite spot such as their local park or by the seafront.

But how do you go about having a bench installed? Is it costly? Who is responsible for installation and upkeep?

 

Different area, different rules

An important consideration when deciding on these benches is to understand that different local authority councils, parish or town councils have different rules regarding them. These dictate:

  • where they can be
  • who installs them
  • who is responsible for their upkeep

What follows is a general guide of what to consider.

 

Do these need planning permission?

Yes, most public benches will need to be approved by the local council, parish council or whichever public body is responsible or &#;keeper&#; of the land on which you want to place the bench.

Helpful information

Many local authorities have helpful factsheets on how to request or install a bench in your chosen area. Go to the local authority website and type in &#;remembrance bench&#; into the search bar. You should find further information.

 

Do I buy my own bench?

Some local authorities will supply a bench at a cost to you (some start at £500 upwards). Whilst other councils ask that you buy the bench yourself. This means you have more freedom as to the design of the seat.

When it comes to the style and material of bench, you will need to be prepared to buy a good quality, probably hardwood bench. These weather much better than softwood and metal benches.

 

What can I have inscribed on the bench?

Most councils will allow you to create your own inscription within &#;common decency&#; guidelines. Some will allow a short verse or another message, along with the person&#;s name and any significant dates, if you want those included.

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Do I supply the plaque?

Some councils will ask you to supply the inscription on a plague whilst others offer an inscription service as part of the overall cost of the package.

 

Can the bench be put in my chosen place?

Again, this varies from one local authority to another.

Most councils have a set number of benches they will accept for popular areas such as seafront locations and popular beauty spots. On their website, you may find a list of areas for which there are no vacancies for benches. This may mean you will need to change your plans.

 

Who installs the bench?

Memorial benches that will be installed in public space will need to be safe for use and as such, a local council will have health and safety obligations it needs to meet. Thus, installation needs to be done in a way that ensures the bench is safe to use.

In most cases, we find that local authorities will want to install the bench themselves to ensure it meets their standards. They will charge you for this. The average cost, although this does vary, seems to be around £120 per bench.

It also depends on the surface to which the bench is being installed and fixed too. Fixing it to a concrete pathway or pavement flags will cost more due to the time taken and the different fixings required.

 

Who is responsible for the upkeep of the bench?

Most councils and local authorities will be responsible for the upkeep of remembrance benches in public areas.

However, this doesn&#;t mean that you cannot keep the bench looking pristine. Before you varnish or paint it you will need to check with the council you can do this and what steps you need to take to ensure safety.

 

What about benches on National Trust property and so on?

If you want the bench on land owned by another public body or a private landowner, you will need to contact them for permission. You&#;ll also need to find out if it is acceptable to have a bench in a certain location.

These benches are popular for many reasons. But you want to do it right because councils will remove benches that don&#;t have the right permissions or are not fixed correctly.

 

 

Anna is the marketing and office manager for Garden Benches &#; a premium supplier of high-quality wooden benches and other outdoor furniture.

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